Monday, August 8, 2011

A JH2D Warning: The Princess and the Pony

The Princess and the Pony is playing on Netflix on demand for the 900th time. I won’t bore you with the plot or details, but I will warn you that the film is crack for kids. Since we signed on for Netflix on the Wii, this film has not left our recently watched folder. I’m not sure if you can actually block kid’s films on this platform, but you need to make sure your kids don’t find this. I am warning you now, you can thank me later.

I hate it. I despise it. I want to puke every time it graces our TV screen.
I want everyone involved in this film’s production to die a slow and horrible death. The writers themselves need to be drawn and quartered by the very horses used in this film. The cast is a bunch of newcomers (according to IMDb) and let’s hope they stay that way. The acting is horrible and the script is barely above that found in a high school creative writing class. I have seen pornos with better developed plots and acting in them, even the ones that are quickly made while their cinematic counterpart is playing in the multiplex (Shaving Ryan’s Privates, Bareback Mountain, et al). Which I find completely ironic, as the parent company of the company that released this (TheAsylum) does the very same thing to major releases  “Snakes on Train?” Really?

The only person I give props to is the cranky old woman in the final scene of the film. This is where she makes her very first appearance in this piece of trash and shakes her head in knowing disgust. She doesn’t speak, nor does she act, aside from shaking her head. I whole-heartedly agree with you unnamed person at the end of the film who was probably cut from the final edit, this film is disgusting.
This pony should have been put down a long time ago.