The day Madge made us gay

She had come to Indianapolis to feminize, kitsch, and queer the Super Bowl, and by that measure her 12 minutes were a success. Madonna’s genius as an artist has been to remove subtext and eliminate the underground, to put everything out in the open. (I mean, she published a sex book called Sex.) This doesn’t mean she is free of mystery (do you understand “Like a Prayer”?), but, for decades, her entire point is that everything good and important should be mainstream.

No one should hide or be hidden.

There is no shame in whoever you are.

It’s true that this message was more exciting coming from a 33-year-old Madonna than from the current 53-year-old version. But I’d rather get it from her than from, say, the importantly self-important Lady Gaga, Madonna’s most aggressive acolyte. With Gaga, every anthem is a hashtag. With Madonna, the anthems have actually lasted. At the height of her powers, Madonna wouldn’t have been asked to go near the Super Bowl (as Gaga today would never be), but last night was a reminder that she’s far from irrelevant.

She knows that she and football have nothing to do with each other, but her show managed to embrace womanliness and flamboyance in a way that didn’t affront masculinity. Nothing homosexually gay happened on that stage. But it seemed to liberate people who watch sports both casually and obsessively to observe, with what sounded like a degree of amused catharsis, how gay Madonna’s show felt. For a moment, we got a break from “no homo.” Still, you wonder whether Elton John, George Michael, or Adam Lambert performing the same show would have produced the same sense of relief — or just panic.

That’s not Madonna’s barrier to break. That’s the NFL’s.”

Writer Wesley Morris, deciphering Madonna’s halftime show, in Grantland.com

RESPECT!

Adoptive Family Trees: A splintery subject

I found this on this site: http://jimidoodle.blogspot.com/

 We knew it was coming and it finally happened. We had read in many of the adoptive family blogs/journals that the family tree assignment can be dicey for non-traditional families. Monday night, Anna opened her homework folder and spread out the traditional family tree structure on the table and immediately became frustrated that her family didn’t fit into that mold. She said, “I don’t live with my mommy! I live with Daddy and Papa!” She then freaked out when she saw that her mom’s side would have traditional father/mother for the grandparent entries. Since her mom was raised by two women, that model didn’t work either. There were several grunts of frustration and we had to talk her down and assure her that we would work on finding a solution for her to present to her class. It’s funny, as several of her classmates are from non-traditional families as well, so this isn’t an isolated thing in her classroom. Tod did some cut and paste at his school and made a tree specific for Anna. He also drafted this letter to her teacher.

Dear Wendy,

                Anna had several questions about some of the spots on the version of a family tree that you sent home for them to complete with their family.  We have always been very open with Anna about adoption and her biological family, so she was eager to fill out the section about her mother, but even her mother’s family is a non-traditional family.  With adoptions, single parent families, children being raised by grandparents, and family trees reconstructed with divorce and remarriage, many students would struggle completing a traditional family tree, not just with families such as ours.  Thanks to having access to a computer and a copy machine I was able to create a worksheet for Anna to use to represent her family, but not all families have that luxury. 

For your consideration I have included a couple of blank family trees that you may want to consider using in the future.  There are other ways of completing this assignment as well, without the traditional branches.  You could have the student put his or her name in the center of a target and have them work out from the center to represent the adults that serve a parental role and so on as you work out from the center.  Story web format could be used as well. We are not offended, we knew sooner or later this type of assignment would come up, but we also did not want to miss out on the opportunity to make this a teachable moment.

Sincerely,

Tom and Tod. 

We didn’t get angry, we didn’t get upset, we simply showed the teacher that there were other ways to make this project work. It is our hope that she will adopt these changes and consider doing a project that won’t cause stress to kids in non-traditional families. As times change, the family structure is changing as well. Families are blending, families are fracturing. Children are being raised by other family members as divorce is so common place in our society.  And no Rick Santorum, it’s not the evil gay peoples fault.  

Parenting School Drop Out

I know what we're doing for Halloween next year.

Ah, the 70’s… so many great movies came out, I hardly know where to start. Over the holiday season, “Grease” aired so, being a musical theatre fan, I set the DVR and waited for the film to record. After it recorded, Anna and I snuggled up on the couch and got busy watching the movie that was a big part of my junior high/high school experience. I don’t really remember all the making out or smoking in the film from when I was a teen, but Anna pointed it out right away. Honestly, we were more concerned with the music and trying to learn all the dances, so that stuff was all extra to us. The making out in the back of the car got fast-forwarded through and the smoking got explained away as “that’s what they did back then.” “Why did they dress that way?” got deferred to “ask Grandma.”

And then came one of my favorite scenes, the slumber party:  boys, alcohol, smoking, ear piercing, and sneaking out of a window. What's not to love? Anna asked if this is what happened at all slumber parties and I said no. She wanted to know why Rizzo was making fun of Sandy, and I couldn’t think of anything so I said “because she’s from Australia.”

Bullet dodged.

But then, the song that I know all too well, and if asked, can probably sing just as good as Frankie, “Beauty School Drop Out”. Frenchie was always my favorite character in the film, as she was goofy and creative, and had a guardian angel. When the song started, I began to sing along, but as I belted out: But no customer would go to you unless she was a hooker! I realized there would have to be some ‘splainin’ to do as I giggled and immediately stopped singing. On cue, Anna asked, “What’s a hooker?” and I offered up my answer to any awkward question asked when Tod is in the room: “I don’t know, ask Daddy.”

Tod, without hesitation responded that it is someone who catches fish. I then chimed in (being the educator that I am), by suggesting we use it in a sentence: “Anna, your grandpa McMillen is someone who is familiar with hookers.” I am certain that this will come up at our next family gathering, I can’t wait.

Grease, it’s the word.

A very special New Year's Eve message from JH2D

Tod posted this on his Facebook page and I thought it was worth sharing on here.

Go hog wild tonight!

We have watched the ball drop in Time Square and in Jackson, Michigan. We have hosted New Year's Eve parties at our home for anywhere from 10 to 60 of our friends. We have rung in the new year in bars filled with bear, drag queens, and twinks. So what does this New Year's Eve have in store? Putting the kids to bed, having a nice quiet dinner, and welcoming in the new year in front of a roaring fire in the fire place. Hopefully starting the new year in this calm manner will set the tone for 2012!

Yup, we're old. Yup, we're lame.
What are YOU doing this evening?

A midwinter's greeting.

A warm and fuzzy holiday greetings from all of us at Jesus Has 2 Daddies. May your dreams come true, may your every wish be realized.

Mine, I just want a nap.

Mizz'N My Kidz! A very special holiday edition

Eli's birth dad and his brother.

It’s the Christmas season! And, just like herpes, Eli’s birth mom is the gift that keeps on giving. She once again turned off her privacy filter on Facebook, and I was able to grab some more of her ramblings. Warning: English teachers and the easily offended should probably NOT read this. My notes/explanations are in parentheses.

· Yes, I Have A High Class, A Ghetto Ass, Luscious Thighs, Candy Eyes, Tempting Lips, Killah Kiss, So Wave Good-Bye && Blow A Kiss Cuz Baby Youh Cant Handle This

· Well Guess Im Goin Bacc Ta Bed, Dont Feel Good At All :'( Wanna Cry, Ive Been Really Emotional Lately :(( I Dont Kno Whats Wrong Wit Me...Gotta Call CFH (Center for Family Health) In Tha Morning && Get Me&& Tay In Ta See A Doc

· Soo Would Rather Be Dead, Than Ta Feel Another Minute Of This Pain... Its Slowly Moving Up InTa My Chest... Wishin SomeOne Would Juss Shoot Me... On My Way Ta ColdWater Wit Tay,

· M F G, My Daughter Is Fucc'N Huge.! I Love All My Kids Soo Much.!

· Wow, Got Some New Pics Of My Daughter.! [: !! Bouts Ta Goo Smoke A Fatty Wit My Girl

· Bitch Pull Your Hair Back And Suck L’s Dick... *needs a cuddy buddy* (L is Eli’s birth dad)

· Soo I Got A Ride InTa Town, And Still Cant See Him :( Ugh This Is Fuckin Irritating! Wit My *Ride or Die* Chick... I Love This Bio-tch!! Sorry, I Tried....

· This one hit home: B O R E D . . . Need SomeThin Ta Do, Who Wants Ta Hang Out?!? Aint Got Time For Games, && Dumb Shit.! *Single Girl Swagg* Fucc'N Lame-O!! HaHa :) Alayzia Is Huge, Now If I Could Only Get A Recent Pic Of Elija, Things Would Be Great :)) Wanna Cuddle .?!?

· And this… Hmm What Ta Do.? EveryOne Is Sleepin, Started Walkin In Town Earlier, But Turned Rite Around, Its Eff'N Freezin OutSide.! Need A Cuddy Buddy! Fucc EveryOne, The Only People I Need In My Life Are My Girls, Minus 3 Other People, That Cant Be In My Life, But I SOO WISH THEY WERE, Mommy Loves Youh Guys.! *I WILL SEE THEM ALL AGAIN ONE DAY* Even If I HafTa Wait Til They Turn 18!! (I am assuming that she is talking about the kids that were taken away from her, including Eli)

· Sitn at tha ER. Need ta go home... This shit sux... Super hungry... Ready for this money then bed... IF I EVER MAKE IT HOME... Whose got a couch me and my girl can crash on?

· Soo I Just Found Out, Im DYING.. Man Oh Man.. WHOOP WHOOP... TAKE ME WERE I STAND :/

· Gon` go back ta sleep... Im FUCKN HUNGRY... Peace N love ta my REAL people... Getn crunk tanite... No food so fillin our stomachs wit alcohol... (Always a good choice)

· L called me taday. Tha last thing i wanted ta hear taday... But oh well he is doin good... Thats all that matters... And NO WERE NOT GETTING BACK TAGETHER... I GOT A RIDE OR DIE BITCH, THATS DOWN 4 ME..

And then, the equally grammatically challenged baby momma of Eli’s brother posted these lovely bits. A bit of back story, she is on again, off again with Eli’s birth dad. Apparently more off now, as he is currently in jail.

Post: me and L is over now everybody can have him and now i can move on and find somebody to love me for me and that will except my son i am a package deal.. i dont need a man in my life to make me happy as long as i got my baby boy them 2 win they can have him im done

Comments: (She is A)

Person 1 YOU WILL FIND SOME ONE TO LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU NEED TO BE LOVED AND THEY WILL LOVE YOUR BAY TO IM GLAD THAT YOU ARE OVER HIM HE WAS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU AT ALL AND ILL PRAY THAT YOU WILL FIND SOME ONE THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR SON IM HAPPY FOR YOU THAT YOU ARE GETTING ON WITH YOUR LIFE LET GOD HELP YOU JUST PRAY AND ASK GOD TO FIND SOME ONE FOR YOU AND YOUR SON WELL ILL LET YOU GO FOR KNOW LOTS OF LOVE AUNT S

Person 2 so who was fuckin u over why did u break up if u dont mind me askin!

A: he is fucking my cuz\

Person 2 oh wow thats not kool how did u find out

A: cought him

Person 2 oh thats so bad im so sorry ull find someone else who will treat u right WAT HE FUCK UR CUZZO??? Bz!?

And, to wrap up this lovely entry, just found out that Eli’s mom is pregnant once again. Just in time for the holidays.

More about religion

Some responses to my recent post off of the blog:

A note from a coworker: I read your blog about the Church and completely agree with you! I was raised as a Protestant, attended a Catholic high school, and taught at a Catholic middle school for a few years. As an adult, I've concluded that religion was a man-made establishment meant to instill fear in the masses, although I do realize that initial religious practices (i.e., sacrifices and praying) developed due to man's inability to explain natural phenomena. People are afraid to admit they cannot provide answers to some of the most perplexing questions, and seem afraid to question their faith for fear of going to hell. Rather than admitting they do not yet know an answer, it is easier to make up something. At one point the sun and planets revolved around the Earth, right?!

The Church does some good--creates a sense of community and provides assistance to the needy--but I cannot tolerate the crap some of these priests spew. I only attend certain services for my family's sake (church memorials/ holiday events) and get so angered while sitting through a sermon. (I'm sure my facial expressions and gasps reveal my feelings quite clearly.) One even minimized the importance of education because it required critical thinking that challenged the teachings of the Church! Not something an educator wants to hear. I probably should have posted this response in your forum, but am quite private about my feelings. I guess it stems from my family's disapproval of my religious beliefs! Don't feel bad about not sending your children to church. As you stated, quality family time can offer far more valuable life lessons.

Thanks for getting me stirred up!

From a former student:

I love your view on Elf on the Shelf; personally I have always found that creepy. I too have a religion issue with my kids but on a different level. My kids are heavily, heavily influenced (attempted brainwashing more like it) by their Jehovah’s Witness Grandmother and I was raised bible thumping Baptist with religion issues of my own. Still looking for the perfect mix of some religious education but letting them know it is their choice and their decision on what they believe in. If they treat others like they want to be treated and don't end up in prison or a teen parent then I think I did a damn fine job by myself with no higher entity involved.

Another former student:

I am thankful every day for my UU upbringing, learning the world’s religions in Sunday school, in a non-dogmatic and accepting community gave me full perspective to find my own path of affiliation and truth.

From a fellow Thespian in town:

Not that you are seeking nor need any validation ... but I've read your blog and agree. When my children are grown, educated and have taken the time to learn, they can make their own choices about religion and church.