I was at Meijer last night, grocery list in hand, picking up items for our weekend. Tod stayed at home with the kids to expedite me getting the task done in a timely manner. When I approached the self checkout lane, I was crossing off items to make sure I didn’t miss anything while the person in front of me finished up. There was a giant box of diapers in the seat where Eli normally sits and the rest of the cart was full of groceries.
The lady working the lanes looked at me and made a remark about how I was a dutiful husband, out doing the shopping for the wife who is at home with the kids. She then remarked that I better get everything on “her” list or I would be in trouble. She LOL’d and ribbed the other worker in an attempt to gain her agreement on her assessment.
I reached in my pocket and turned off my Ipod and then I let her know that I was the one who made the shopping list and my husband was at home watching our two kids while I did the shopping. I then handed her the bottle of Captain Morgan and asked her to take the security device off the bottle, giving her my best STFU stare.
She didn’t say another word to me. I don’t mind being mistaken for heterosexual; just don’t make a big deal out of it okay?
Gay or straight, I would have been irritated with her just for assuming that I was not competent to make my own damn shopping list! The myth of male incompetence when it comes to nurturing really sticks in my craw.
ReplyDeleteThat was the undercurrent of this whole situation that I left alone, I knew this would come out eventually. When Tod and I are out with the kids and they are crying/misbehaving, we will often get looks comments from women asking us where the mom is, as apparently we are total idiots when it comes to dealing with the behavior issues and we need super Mom to swoop in and handle our incompetence.
ReplyDeleteGrrrrrrrrrr.
As a working mom where my husband has been the primary care-giver, this has really irked me, too, the praise he gets for handling a fairly ordinary situation with competency. :) And he's been pretty irritated by it at times, too.
ReplyDeleteAs a stay at home dad I get the same vibe when i'm out with the kids and it becomes difficult sometimes to not snap back. It's funny how I can roll with it from time to time and just give that ha ha laugh and get out of there and other times when "this agression will not stand man"
ReplyDeleteI biggest issue is the assumed incomitance of men to do the shopping. sitcoms have mad it hard for men to go out and do simple tasks liek this without people saying something. What ever happened to "Fatehr Knows Best" and other show types that make men out to be men and not bafoons? Gay or sriaght, men are capable of doing things without being told what is needed.
ReplyDeleteYou missed an opportunity here - you could have thrown your head back and laughed and then started to talk about your husband, and bring out the photos and show her/everyone else in line etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteIt would have made them squirm so!
Ha! It is always embarrassing when people over credit you for doing something simple. Especially when they are wrong.
ReplyDeleteI generally bask in any credit that is going - insulting or not!